Have Yourself A Very Tory Christmas

This is my final article until after Christmas as even a hardcore political animal such as myself occasionally needs a few days off to kick back & chill, play some videogames & smoke some weed & pig out on all my favourite Christmassy foods, well all that would most definitely make a not-so-bad Christmas for me personally but due to circumstance I’m actually not going to be having much of a Christmas this year, in fact those confided at her majesty’s pleasure will likely be scoffing down a more luxurious Christmas dinner then me, her actual majesty will of course definitely be having a far more luxurious dinner then me.

I see Lizzy & co have been photographed making Christmas puddings for charity, yeah as if Queen Lizzy was helping to make puddings for real, if you think this is more than anything then a staged photo op you’ll fucking believe anything, she’s waited on hand & foot by a legion of servants, there literally is a position in the royal household dedicated to wiping the monarch’s arse, it’s official title is Groom Of The Stool. Oh & what gift has Lizzy gotten members of royal household this Christmas, a Tesco’s voucher worth a stonking £6, geez how fucking generous of her NOT! Yeah while Lizzy enjoys a slap up luxurious multiple course Christmas dinner those serving it up to her will have a gift voucher worth enough for them to buy a few cans of baked beans & fucking Cornetto for pudding if they’re lucky, oh yeah wonder if members of the royal household will receive their whopping £6 Tesco’s gift voucher in one of those Tesco’s greeting cards which have been manufactured in a Chinese prison camp.

I kind of find it beyond ironic that if anybody on Benefits Street treated themselves to a half decent Christmas dinner there’d be a fucking outcry from the likes of Katie Hopkins & the Daily Mail, yet the very same Tory cunts like the Daily Mail & Katie Hopkins would be bitching if Queen Lizzy & family weren’t served up a luxurious Christmas dinner on a silver fucking platter despite fact the family Windsor are the nation’s biggest welfare spongers.

I might not be having the greatest time of it what with currently having a seriously fucked up knee & there being ongoing family issues, however I’m personally thankful to be fortunate enough to have a roof over my head this Christmas because there are many people in this country who aren’t as fortunate. Now the Tories have a thumping majority in parliament I suspect there will be with Christmases to come an ever-increasing number of people who’ll be penniless & homeless. The Tories truly are the enemies of all that should be good about the festive season, not just preventing people from getting the maximum amount of joy from Christmas, they’re literally preventing people getting any joy from Christmas what-so-fucking-ever, but I’m sure the Tories will always ensure Queen Lizzy gets her slap up Christmas dinner & the groom of the stool is employed afterwards to wipe her arse.

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